Lament: Liturgy

Creating a Liturgy of Lament

A template for a Liturgy of Lament:

1. Song
2. Prayers of Lament
3. Psalm
4. Scripture or other reading
5. Song
6. Reflection/Offering: This could include one of the experiences noted above using paper or stones, an individual’s offering of memories (their senior year, their hopes for the future, etc.)
7. Commissioning: Sending forth with new hopes for the future
8. Prayers of thanks
9. Song
10. Blessing

-Presented by Confirmation Collaborative

Welcome: Describe what lament is, provide examples of where it can be found in scripture. Briefly describe how this time of lament will go and what it is intended to do.

Name the Why and the What: Specifically, state and share what brings you together in lament. Consider using news articles, descriptions of destruction or the tragedy at hand, and get specific about how your church/community/young people have been affected. Keep this short and grounded in facts. Avoid guesses and speculation. If you name specific people, get their permission before sharing their names aloud.

Hymn/Song: Choose good ones!

Prayers: Consider guided prayers, responsive scripture reading (Joel, Habakkuk, Job, Jeremiah, or Psalms 5, 13, 35, 42, 137 can be great places to start).

Hymn/Song: Choose wisely.

Intercession: Silent prayers, voice prayers, call prayers aloud, pray with a neighbor . . . Be creative with vocal or tactile ways to pray. Prayer stations, water or oil stations for blessings, lighting candles, and so on could be included. Doing these stations virtually requires additional creativity! Clearly have a way to signal the end of prayer time.

Closing: Closing prayer and benediction. Use prayers that are familiar and common for your setting. Offer the chance for continued conversation or follow up for anyone still called to pray or grieve further.

-Presented by Chris Wilterdink

Naming our loss is a way to process grief and it is really important because:

1. Naming loss helps us be honest about grief.

We don’t have to pretend like everything is just fine. We can name what’s lost, and lament it together. We can say, “That’s rough.” We can be sad. We can acknowledge sources of anger and irritability.

2. Naming loss keeps us from minimizing or silver-lining.

This week’s losses might feel pretty minor in a few weeks, but that’s not for us to judge today. We need to see and name the losses for what they are and how we’re all experiencing them.

Brené Brown urges us to remove the words “at least” from our vocabulary as we learn to practice empathy. Saying “at least” is a way to try to add a silver lining around a dark-cloud experience. Instead, most of us just want someone else to acknowledge that our experience is sad, and to be with us in our sadness for a while.

-adapted from Naming loss and gratitude with young people in these uncertain days by Brad M. Griffin

Practical ideas and tips for naming losses

1. Make a list - Locate the list somewhere central and keep a pen nearby to make it easy to add a thought in passing.

2. Share with a friend -

3. Start journaling - For those who aren’t likely to share out loud, journaling can work well. The prayer of Examen can be a useful set of prompts to help someone new to journalling get started.

4. Identify feelings - Here is a feelings wheel to help you find a feeling that matches their experience and give it a name.

-adapted from Naming loss and gratitude with young people in these uncertain days by Brad M. Griffin